#DADpression. Have you ever heard of this term?
You’re usually a superhero. You are up with everyone else, you make the coffee and prepare for the day. Even though you spend your day at work and weekends on chores, you are ready to tackle any household problem; together with your drill driver and a few bits, you could build that new shed or repair the broken drywall if you wanted. But lately, it’s been tough to keep going.
Your partner gave birth to your first child a couple of months ago - you were ecstatic and joyous. It seemed like that feeling would never fade as this new being entered into your life. You had a lot of jive and boogie about the little one, but just a few months later, you’ve found it’s been hard to get out of bed, to focus, and you’ve just felt down. There are days, too, where you worry about everything, from large important things in life to the small irrelevant ones.
I’m a dad and struggling
It doesn’t get a lot of press and talk, but there is a phenomenon that can occur, typically starting a few months after the birth of your child, termed paternal postpartum depression. Research has shown that anywhere between 1.2 to 25.5% of new dads will experience this within the first year of parenthood. While you may try to pass it off as a “funk,” or that you’re “just tired,” (in reality you probably are…) this can often be much more. Although, as fathers or men, we may try to double down and push through it, there can be several consequences on the family and infant or child, including distress for the child, tension in the marital relationship, and longer-term behavioral or emotional consequences for the child.
Why am i struggling?
Evidence has shown that there are two major categories that can act as risk factors, including biological risk factors, such as low hormone levels or a predisposition to depression or anxiety, and ecological risk factors, like the drastic change in lifestyle, changes in social supports and connections, or even the changes in your marital or partner-relationship. In short, this means the things that were given to you, latent in your genetics and makeup, and the things going on around you, both play a role in paternal postpartum depression.
It can be easy to feel that you are alone when experiencing this. It is important to know, though, that you aren’t. When asked, the fathers involved in this study reported feeling an increase in dissatisfaction with their partners, potentially due to a lack of intimacy and changes within the sexual relationship. Additionally, your beliefs regarding gender roles may be at play. It is often the case that men have a perception that they must be the breadwinner and leader of the family, and as a result, put a great deal of effort into work after the birth of their child. The natural consequence of this is that you have less time to spend at home with your family, and maybe a sense that you don’t have as close of an attachment with your child. Further, long-term implications of a depressed dad have also been identified (e.g. your kid has a higher chance of experiencing depression).
There is help
It is important to recognize that this is not a situation where you need to “just get back to it.” #DADpression is real, and you need to take it seriously. If you connected with anything here, or are a new or soon to be father with a history of depression or anxiety, it's a good idea to get in touch with a professional, even if only for a tune-up. If you are not connected with a professional, feel free to give us a call or email.
Share your comments and thank you for reading!
